Success

Success

So I read a quote recently that said

“People want you to be successful, as long as you’re less successful than them”

And it really got me thinking about success and support.
I feel like people have different opinions on what success is… For some it’s money, for some it’s fame, for others it’s happiness – it varies from person to person.  I’m not gonna go into depth about what success means to me (mainly because I haven’t fully formed an opinion on it…) but I think it’s somewhere along the lines of happiness and recognition for the effort I put into things.
Reading it brought back memories of some of the toxic friendships I’ve had in the past (I have a whole post about how to spot toxic friendships here).  Back in year 9 I got pulled out of my school and it took the government 5 months (In which I just sat at home doing nothing) before they found me another one, so initially I was quite behind.  However, after a summer of working incredibly hard to catch up on year 9 work and be a little ahead of my GCSE’s, I managed to get back to a good place, and my grades started to get a little higher.  I was still quite new and never really spoke about my grades unless my friends asked me (I’ve never really been one for talking about my grades), and I remember my friend being really proud of a grade she’d got in a test, then ignoring me for the rest of the day when she found out I did better than she did.  At the time I thought nothing of it, I was new and still walking on eggshells around people, so I decided I would just hide my accomplishments to avoid upsetting others.  Next thing I know, the rest of the group started being weird around me, and I eventually found out she’d been telling the others that I was “stuck up” and “braggy” and “acted like a know it all in class”.
Truth is, the quote I started with is unfortunately very realistic; you do find a lot of people in life that can only be happy for you if they’re doing better, but are those the type of people you want to associate with?  Yeah, everyone wants to strive for some type of success, whether it’s grades, or career, or side projects, but there’s no reason you can’t succeed just because someone else does.  One of my favourite sayings is blowing out someone’s candle won’t make yours shine any brighter, because it’s sad how things have become more about competition and less about appreciating the success of those around you.  I get so excited when my friends succeed, or start some new sort of venture – it genuinely makes me happy inside; I don’t have a moment of being like “Why wasn’t that me?”, because I know that if I find my thing I can get there too.
At this point in my life I’m incredibly lucky in the sense that my friends and family are s0 supportive of whatever I want to do.  There’s no hostility around when things go well for me, and I love that and them for that so much.  Life isn’t a competition, there is room for both you and those around you to grow.  
Hope you liked this, I feel like my content lost its way about in February (mainly because I lost my way a bit… I’ll probably post about it at some point) But yeah this is the kind of content I want to do, so I’d love any feedback in the comments…
Lots of love,
Jas xx
 
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20 Comments

  1. March 6, 2017 / 6:39 pm

    Love the honesty of this, great post Jas! Glad you’ve found where you want to be again xx

    • March 6, 2017 / 7:09 pm

      Thank you Anna! Expect more posts like this in the future!
      Jas xx

  2. March 6, 2017 / 7:42 pm

    Very thought provoking! I like the quote you provided ‘blowing out someone’s candle won’t make yours shine any brighter’….very true!

    • March 6, 2017 / 7:44 pm

      Thank you! I felt like it’s the best way to do it, as a society we’ve gotten so obsessed with knocking others down and thinking that will help us but it won’t.
      Jas xx

  3. March 6, 2017 / 7:42 pm

    “Life isn’t a competition, there is room for both you and those around you to grow. ” – I love that quote Jasmine, and it’s true too! We shouldn’t feel the need to compete with eachother all of the time, and should be able to be comfortable with our own accomplishments while still being able to congratulate others at the same time – I’ve definitely experienced this myself and it can be very disheartening when friends change as yours did, so I can definitely sympathise with you there, but I am glad to hear you’ve got family and friends now who are lovely and supportive, that’s all we can ever ask for, and here’s to championing eachother while celebrating our own success too! 😀 – Tasha

    • March 6, 2017 / 7:46 pm

      Thank you Tasha! I’m sorry that you’ve had friends change too, it can be very irritating, but once you find the right people it makes everything better!
      Jas xx

  4. March 7, 2017 / 8:39 pm

    I love this blogpost and your message. It shouldn’t be a competition, I always celebrate my friends’ successes as much as I do my own. I will support you, always buddy!
    Marc | http://www.ohbuggerall.com

  5. March 10, 2017 / 2:15 am

    Can’t help but wonder if this is why I was less than popular in school. I got good grades, but typically met with hostility from others.
    Awesome post! Glad to hear that the hostility is a thing of the past!

    • March 10, 2017 / 2:18 am

      People do often become stand-offish when someone is doing well, especially at school ages, so it would make sense. Thank you for reading, I hope the hostility you were receiving is also in the past!
      Jas xx

  6. March 11, 2017 / 1:48 am

    Jasmine this was so deep and something I’m sad to say I easily relate to. I’ve come across people who only talk to me about what they have going on and never ask me about their adventures. I still share joy in their success but it would be nice for someone to care about what I have. I’ve also experienced people who like it when you’re mediocre and as soon as you rise to their level or even higher they value you less. I like surrounding myself with people who are more successful than me because it’s motivational. Jealousy is a cruel thing to have, we should all embrace one another b/c you never know when you might need that person 😀 anyways, great post!!!

    • March 11, 2017 / 5:36 am

      Awwwwww thank you! I agree with everything you’ve said here, surround yourself with the right kind of people!
      Jas xx

  7. March 12, 2017 / 3:12 pm

    It is sad that a lot of individuals still feel there is a limited amount of success, happiness and if you are getting it there is less for them. Not realizing that it grows the more everyone gets. Thanks for the reminder.

  8. March 13, 2017 / 8:13 pm

    I couldn’t agree with this post any more if I tried. I spent years with a ‘friend’ tearing down my successes no matter how small they were. I always try my best to build others up and if I don’t have nothing nice to say I don’t say anything at all Xo
    Jay – Makeup with Jay Xo

    • March 13, 2017 / 8:19 pm

      Thank you! I completely agree with that last bit, that’s how it should be!
      Jas xx

  9. March 15, 2017 / 8:32 am

    Wow, that quote is so true! I think you’re right about the importance in discerning who’s a good friend and who’s toxic. Stick with the loyal friends even it means just 1 friend.

    • March 15, 2017 / 8:33 am

      Exactly! It’s better to keep your circle small and kind than have loads of friends that cause you problems.
      Jas xx

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