Letting Go…

Letting Go…

I have a terrible habit of being a bit of a people pleaser.
In the past I would do anything I could to make people like me… I would fit whatever mould they needed me to, change my beliefs to fit theirs, essentially pretended to be someone I wasn’t… it was not good at all.  If someone found me annoying or didn’t want to be friends with me it really got to me and I managed to convince myself that I was the problem.
However, after 19 (long) years and 7 different stints as “the new girl”, I’ve finally come to realise that in life, not everybody is going to like you.  The truth is, I’d be lying if I said I liked everybody I’ve ever met, everyone would; at the end of the day we all have different personalities, and it’s only natural that some personalities are going to clash.  As long as you have at least some people in your life that you know genuinely like you for you, it doesn’t matter.  Not everybody that you meet is meant to be a lifelong friend, and sometimes you have to filter through the coal to find the diamonds.
You see, I’ve had my fair share of friendships that I’ve forced that were probably not the most healthy to be in (read more about one of those hereand every time I was heartbroken when they ended (yes, friendships can break your heart too).  However, looking back on each of them, and seeing those people hanging out now, I realise that if I were still with those people, I wouldn’t be having fun.  I should be with people that make me feel comfortable… and it took me a long time to realise it, but you can’t force people to like you, and you can’t force yourself to like other people.
If you find yourself changing everything about you in order to fit in, or having to force your way into every group hang, then maybe it’s time to let go.  People that genuinely want you around will make an effort to invite you to things and will accept you, flaws and all, and sometimes the only way to find the good is to let go of the bad, no matter how hard that may be.  In your lifetime you will come across so many different faces that it will be impossible to keep count, the same way it would be impossible for you to get along with every single one of them on a genuine level.  Pick quality over quantity, and if people don’t like you, let them go.
How do you overcome people not liking you?  Leave your own stories/opinions in the comments!

Lots of love,
Jas xx
 
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21 Comments

  1. I know exactly what you mean. When I feel someone does not like me and I don’t know why, I always try to find out why and then make them like me. It is often useless though. Then I kinda give up but it is so hard when it happens at work;.. xx corinne

    • May 24, 2017 / 11:07 pm

      I also try and find out why, but often it is something we can’t change, so it is better to let it go than dwell on it
      Jas xx

  2. May 24, 2017 / 8:57 pm

    I am such a person pleaser, I hate people not liking me and always want to find out the reasons why but recently I’ve realized not to think too much about it and not too care x

  3. May 25, 2017 / 12:16 pm

    I definitely struggle with people pleasing too Jasmine, but you’re so right, quality is always better than quantity and if people are treating you poorly or you’re having to change who you are to fit in with them, then they’re aren’t good friends. Like you, this is something I’ve learned over the years and I feel lucky to have a close knit group of friends who stay in touch with me and love me for me, and I’m glad you have that too! – Tasha

      • June 5, 2017 / 11:44 am

        I feel lucky to have them, and I hope you’ve got a close knit group too!

  4. May 26, 2017 / 11:13 am

    I have struggle with this also. You want to be there for people but if all one way how much of you can give before crashing. So be with people who feed your soul

    • May 26, 2017 / 11:24 am

      Exactly, there’s only so much you can give before it’s too much! Relationships and friendships are a 2 way street.
      Jas xx

  5. May 27, 2017 / 6:48 pm

    Ah, its tough, isn’t it?
    I’ve struggled with friends over the years – heartbroken when thins have gone awry and desperate for people to like me…. I think getting older makes it easier to handle but it still sucks sometimes!

  6. May 28, 2017 / 8:00 pm

    It’s a tough one. We all need to be true to ourselves and not try and be something we’re not, but tying that in with staying friends with people we like, isn’t always easy.

    • May 28, 2017 / 8:23 pm

      It isn’t, and it’s something we have to work on for ourselves.
      Jas xx

  7. May 28, 2017 / 8:06 pm

    It’s lovely and let live. We can’t like everyone. Believe me I try!!! But you cant and equally not everyone will like you!!!

  8. May 28, 2017 / 9:20 pm

    This is the perfect post that I needed to read right now. You sum it up so well and I think it is so important to learn to let go and surround ourselves with people and things that make us happy.
    -Olivia Xxxx
    http://oliviaxalesha.com/blog/

  9. May 28, 2017 / 9:37 pm

    Hi Jas. You are so correct. I am like you, I always have been and always will be. I’m generally easy going and always fitted into customer facing roles because I love people and the general public (and can generally get the best out of people even if they are being obnoxious 😉) BUT you are very correct. Sometimes personalities clash, and sometimes people are just plain awful and you shouldn’t allow them any more of your time and space x

  10. Lisa
    May 28, 2017 / 10:45 pm

    quality over quantity I completely agree!

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