"You've Changed"

"You've Changed"

We’ve probably all heard this at some point… Whether we’ve been the one saying it or the one receiving it, “You’ve changed” seems to be considered one of the deadliest insults around and I could not be more annoyed with the stigma.
We’re human beings, we grow and we evolve and if we didn’t change from time to time it would be a bit weird.  I can easily look back and say that I’m not the same person I was 5 years ago, and I don’t want to be.  Yes, at 14 I had completely different friends and we did grow apart because of “change”, but changing isn’t synonymous with a bad thing.  I wouldn’t want to still be the 14 year old who was shy and timid and afraid to stand up for what she believed in, in fear of being judged.  Yes, the me that became more confident and social drove my “friends” of the time away, but at the end of the day it was for the best.
You see, we all change, and sometimes that could mean that our personalities change or we don’t suit certain people in our lives anymore but this doesn’t have to be seen so negatively.  I like to believe that everything happens for a reason (I’ve done a few posts on it actually, here and here) and, though it may sometimes be hard to hear, yes, whilst changing you may grow apart from certain people in your life.  But that end isn’t a bad thing, you may have worked while you were different, but ultimately, if someone doesn’t like/suit the person you’ve become, it’s for the best that you aren’t together anymore.  
I change all the time.  I’m still young (and I will hold onto my youth as long as I can), I’m growing everyday and learning who I am and if that means that I’ve “changed” then so be it.  We grow and we mature and we become the people that we meant to be.  For some that’s a drastic difference and for some that may not be too different at all, but we need to stop shaming people for becoming who they’re meant to be, because honestly we do enough of that to ourselves.
We’ve all seen people change, and it can be heartbreaking sometimes to think you’ll lose a friendship/relationship, but whether we deem the change to be for better or for worse, it’s their own personal journey and we can keep our opinions to ourselves.  It’s okay to grow apart from people, it’s okay to realise that you’re not meant to be as close as you used to… We all find our people and sometimes personalities clash, it’s just how the cookie crumbles.  So yes, you may have “changed”, but changing is a part of life, people just need to deal with it.
Hope you enjoyed my little rant, it’s been on my mind for a while now and I finally figured out how to put it into words.  Feel free to share your opinions below!
Lots of love,
Jas xx



  1. August 4, 2017 / 11:46 am

    We have an emotional need to evolve, we need different things from friendships at different times in our lives. Once I needed to have a red head, freckle faced, balsy Pamela as my friend. Because I was not as sporty or popular as my sister. Paela, she blew the biggest bubbles with her bubblegum, punched rowdy boys if they challenged her and told other kids her mum was a white witch, (the latter could have been made up) So befiriending her was a good move, protection in the playground. I very soon disliked her ways and we drifted apart. That is a good example of changing . Your post is true and not a rant.

  2. August 4, 2017 / 2:08 pm

    So true! I’m not the same person I was 15 years ago, or ten, or five, or even one – and I like myself more as time goes on!
    Here’s to positive change! 😀

  3. August 13, 2017 / 3:12 pm

    I love this!! It’s so frustrating when people are so negative about how you’ve changed, especially when in your eyes it has definitely been for the better! It would be boring if we all stayed exactly the same for out entire lives! xxxxx

    • August 13, 2017 / 3:45 pm

      Exactly! We all need a little bit of change!
      Jas xx

  4. August 17, 2017 / 7:04 pm

    I think there can be this assumption that change is bad. Change happens whether a person likes it or not. When it comes to changing as a person it happens naturally and sometimes the person who is changing doesn’t notice it until someone comments on how much they have changed. It is part of life and growth, so embrace it 😊 I never used to be interested in makeup, but now I am. I never used to want to work on myself when I was younger and a teenager, but being in my 20’s then now I have found I have.

    • August 17, 2017 / 7:19 pm

      It’s so true, change is inevitable and should be celebrated! However there’s often a very negative connotation with it and it can be really annoying!
      Jas xx

  5. November 23, 2017 / 8:36 am

    Couldn’t agree more. Great post 👍🏻

  6. November 23, 2017 / 9:55 am

    I so needed to read this today. I’ve been struggling with letting go of a few relationships that meant so much to me. And this helped. A lot. You’re right. Change is for the best and sometimes we don’t see it right away but in the end, we will.

    • November 23, 2017 / 10:51 am

      Awwww I’m so glad this could help! Good luck with your relationships
      Jas xx

  7. November 23, 2017 / 10:48 am

    Change isn’t always easy but sometimes it is the best thing to do. Great post 🙂 xx

  8. November 23, 2017 / 5:06 pm

    “You’ve changed.
    “I should hope so! I used to be so obnoxious—I thought I knew everything, way more than people who had seen and done more in life, even if they’d been driving longer than I’d been out of diapers. Hell, I used to let people treat me badly because I thought if they put in enough ‘friend’ hours they somehow earned that right. Pretty dumb, huh?”

    • November 24, 2017 / 9:35 am

      We all have our dumb moments in the past, I agree, I’m glad I’ve changed!
      Jas xx

  9. November 24, 2017 / 3:19 am

    Such great words. This is absolutely true. Change is a healthy part of nature. I am grateful that I have changed over the years!

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