Compartmentalising

Compartmentalising

Okay so I’ve mentioned about a million times that I’ve been super busy recently.  But, here we go again (I promise this post is gonna get better).  As you may know, I had a bunch of blog posts scheduled for a month and a half.  I didn’t have to blog much through September and most of October and could concentrate on the rest of my life.  However, now all the scheduled posts are over and I’m back to writing in real time and my brain is very confused.

You see, (I’ve also mentioned this a million times, I’m a broken record didn’t you know?) this year I’ve started working as deputy editor of the wellbeing section of my Uni’s newspaper.  It’s amazingly fulfilling and I love being able to write in a different place.  However, it’s making me starkly aware of the problem I have with compartmentalisation.

My Problem

It’s not a recent problem at all.  For as long as I can remember I’ve liked to sort my life into different categories.  When I was younger I had my dance school life, my primary school life, and my home life.  They weren’t allowed to cross over.  I couldn’t do dance classes at school and my friends from dance were completely separate from my friends at primary school.  My brain likes to sort things into boxes, and has severe trouble when the boxes decide that they want to mix together.

When I was a child, my brain just couldn’t handle it if things wanted to mix, however I got a lot better at managing it as I grew older.  Don’t get me wrong, I still had the odd moment or two… When I started my part time job at 18 half of the staff were in the same year and same sixth form as me, and yet our work friendships and (in some case, lack of) school friendships had to be kept separate.  When I got to University, it no longer seemed like an issue; last year I was happy for my best friends and my boyfriend to come visit and meet my Uni friends.  In fact, I completely forgot how bad I used to be with parts of my life mixing… Until recently.

Recently, writing posts like this about how I’m feeling and how I’m doing mentally have made me feel uneasy.  Not because I have a problem sharing – since blogging I’ve actually been really open about my mental health.  Honestly, for a while I had no idea why they were making me feel uncomfortable… and then it all clicked.  

A Crossover?

I’m an editor of a section of a newspaper all about mental health.  My role is to write, organise and edit articles exclusively about mental health for this paper.  Every time I come to write a piece about it for my blog, it doesn’t feel right because it feels like I should be doing it for the paper.  I’m back to compartmentalising: mental health pieces go onto Epigram, pieces about anything else can go on my blog.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s no one telling me this; no one from the paper is particularly controlling about what I put in the paper and what I put on here.  However, to my mind writing similar pieces for both just doesn’t compute.

It’s entirely a personal problem, and I’m navigating my way around it (look at me, writing this post all about my mind – see I’m getting past it!) but I thought I’d explain what’s been going on, because if I can’t unleash all my problems on the internet why did I make a blog in the first place?  I’m still loving blogging, and my Project 2017 series is one of my favourites – I don’t want to stop discussing my mental health on here!  I just have to find some balance, which I am working on at the moment.

Thank you for bearing with me! (Although, you probably didn’t notice the absence of mental health posts in the first place…) And if you feel like keeping up with a totally cool mental health & wellbeing section of a paper run by some pretty amazing people (If I do say so myself) follow @epigramWB on Twitter!

Lots of love,

Jas xx

BLOGLOVIN’ |  TWITTER  |  INSTAGRAM

Follow:
Share:

15 Comments

  1. October 26, 2017 / 6:50 pm

    I do similar things. I have certain friends for certain places and I NEVER mix the two. I only do certain things with certain people cause those are my “so and so” friends. Is that weird? I never thought of it as a real problem. But that makes complete sense!

    • October 26, 2017 / 7:28 pm

      Haha I’m glad you relate! I wouldn’t see it’s weird – some friends you associate with certain things, but when you think about it you have one life and it’s interesting how we put people into boxes haha
      Jas xx

  2. October 28, 2017 / 9:59 am

    I have a friend who does this with everything! I am almost opposite I drag everything together even if it doesn’t work.

    • October 28, 2017 / 10:00 am

      Haha I feel like dragging together would work better because it makes things more fun! I’d love to do it less and I’m working on it
      Jas xx

  3. October 28, 2017 / 11:29 am

    I used to love reading as a teenager, always have my nose in a book. And then at uni I lost it, because I had to read so much for classes I couldn’t read for pleasure and it’s taking me a long time to get back in the habit of reading for pleasure! Congratulations on your role at the paper and well done you on continuing to blog – I find it hard sometimes just writing in one place!!

    • October 28, 2017 / 12:06 pm

      I relate to the reading thing! I do English literature so I’m in the same boat as you – I read for my course and never read for myself anymore. Thanks so much for the congrats!
      Jas xx

  4. October 28, 2017 / 11:52 am

    I think you’re pretty normal. As you’ve noticed, as you get older you get more comfortable with blurred lines in your life and it usually is by necessity. You’ll run into more and more people who will be part of multiple parts of your life and sometimes those are the best friendships.

    • October 28, 2017 / 12:07 pm

      Thank you, I can feel the lines blurring already haha
      Jas xx

  5. October 28, 2017 / 11:57 am

    IT’s all part of growing up and growing comfortable with how you run your life Jas!

    • October 28, 2017 / 12:07 pm

      Haha thanks Ritu, Hopefully I’ll get used to it soon!
      Jas xx

      • October 28, 2017 / 12:09 pm

        You will!

  6. October 28, 2017 / 2:08 pm

    Sometime you have to compartmentalize to keep it together (or I do). Agree with Phil over lines blurring as we get older. Follow what is right for you now and be okay with change and open to possibilities.

    • October 28, 2017 / 2:10 pm

      Thank you – I’m trying to find my way around it all and it’s slowly getting easier haha
      Jas xx

  7. October 28, 2017 / 3:08 pm

    It was fun reading about your mind.

Tell me what you think