It’s easy to hold a grudge. It’s easy to fall out with a person, or have a disagreement and decide that you will never forget and be angry with them for the rest of your life. I used to think exactly this, and I used to never let anything go, but recently I’ve really got to thinking about it, and honestly life is too short for those kind of grudges.
Don’t get me wrong, if someone is horrible to you or disrespects you, I’m not saying you have to pretend it never happened, and I’m not saying you have to keep them in your life. People can be horrible sometimes, and often, we don’t deserve the way that people treat us, but why should you waste your energy on someone that doesn’t deserve any of it at all? Be angry at the time – you’re entitled to expressing your emotions as much as you want, but the sooner you can stop being angry about it, the sooner you can achieve closure for your own sake. You deserve to be happy as much as possible, and dropping your anger over a situation will help you achieve that.
Obviously we’re all human, and we sometimes occasionally have flashes of bitterness over something that happened ages ago (funny story, I haven’t eaten a lentil since I was 8 years old and missed out on 100% on a test because I put lentils in the wrong food group). But the less we can stop those things from affecting our mood, the happier we’ll be in the long run. Yeah, I could actively dislike every single person that I perceive to have wronged me, and yeah, I could make it my mission in life to scrutinise everything they do from now on… But in retrospect what joy would I get out of that? Some people are toxic and aren’t meant to be in your life forever, but you know what’s better than actively hating them for it? Removing yourself from the situation.
People tend to perceive “cutting people off” as this horrible, selfish, act but sometimes it’s an act of self-care, and not intended to be malicious. If someone is bringing nothing but negativity to your life then it’s okay to remove them from your life in order to better your overall happiness. Life is really too short to constantly be salty about a person… As far as I’m concerned, if we fall out, you’re either eventually forgiven, or no longer relevant. That doesn’t mean I’ll stare straight through you if I see you in the street; I’ll probably smile/acknowledge you still because that’s the kind of person I am, but I won’t make a massive effort. It’s not an attempt to be mean, and it’s not me trying to get you to fight to stay in; it’s me taking a step back and realising that we’re not doing each other any good staying in contact.
Obviously not all fall-outs need to end in cutting someone off. Everybody makes mistakes and sometimes you’ll fall out with people temporarily, and eventually get back together. This isn’t a post encouraging you to cut everyone out of your life, just a post explaining why (I personally think) life is way too short to waste your (angry) energy on a person that doesn’t deserve anything from you.
What are your opinions on the matter? Do you agree? Do you disagree? I’d love to have some healthy debate in the comments or hear your own personal experiences!
Lots of love,
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Hey, I'm Jasmine Burke. A girl in her twenties fresh out of Uni that's trying to write in any way that she can. I go under the branch of "lifestyle" but honestly, you can find pretty much anything on here.
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