It’s so easy to lose yourself. It’s so easy to assume that you won’t fit in if you don’t become a copy of those around you. It’s so easy to act a certain way just to “blend in” in fear of being rejected, but it will just make life harder in the long term.
I used to have such a fear of being friendless. I would attempt to fit in in anyway I possibly could… go out when I didn’t want to, act like I wasn’t affected by things that really bothered me, stay silent over things that I really wanted to speak up against, all to impress people that didn’t like me for me. Yes, it may work for a while – who knows? However, you’ll end up feeling like you don’t belong.
You see, upon some retrospect, I realised that I’ve spent so much time trying to impress people that I actually don’t want to hang out with. It can be tough knowing that people don’t like/fit with your personality, but at the end of the day if you have to change yourself for someone to like you, it won’t result in a solid friendship. You may be lonely for a while, and you may feel like you have no one for a bit, but it’s better to be yourself and find real, genuine people, who like you for you, than pretending to be someone you’re not in order to impress people you aren’t compatible with. It can be hard being alone, but eventually, if you stay true to you, the right people will find you.
I went through a period last year where I felt like I didn’t belong. The uni friends I was with judged my decisions to stay in instead of go out 24/7, and I felt like I had to try and be something I wasn’t… I had other friends, and I escaped to them a lot, but things were a little hostile between the original ones. It was tough at times but I stayed true to myself, and now I could not be more thankful for the people I’m surrounded by. I’m with people I feel comfortable with, and am able to act how I like and say what I want, free from fear of judgement.
It happens. You find the right people eventually. Yes it takes time, but sometimes good things do take time. Just remember,
“Be yourself, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
I don’t know if this makes any sense, it’s all just a bit of word vomit that’s been on my mind recently. Hope you’re all loving life and being yourself!
Lots of love,
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Hey, I'm Jasmine Burke. A girl in her twenties fresh out of Uni that's trying to write in any way that she can. I go under the branch of "lifestyle" but honestly, you can find pretty much anything on here.
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