I have spent almost my entirely life feeling insecure. From about the age of 7/8 I started noticing when I was shorter, or chubbier, or looked worse in my uniform than the other girls in my class. I was never overweight, but from a young age I had adults nonchalantly mentioning how I “wasn’t as skinny as I used to be” and I don’t think anyone realised what an impact it can have on a person.
From a young age we are taught to be humble, but through societal pressures and “the media” and even word of mouth, that humbleness quickly transforms into a lack of self love. For a lot of us, our immediate response to a compliment is to deflect it. I get told my hair looks nice and my first instinct is to go “Awww no I’m not really feeling it”. Yes, a lot of people view this as “fishing for compliments” but for me, and a lot of people we’re worried that accepting the compliment will have us deemed “conceited” or “arrogant”.
Over the last year I’ve really been (not entirely intentionally) working on “finding myself”, and it’s been surprisingly enriching. I’m a lot more well rounded and chilled and confident, and I actually like myself. It seems like a really weird thing to say, but it’s a very big step for me… I’ve always been very insecure and never felt like I was good enough, but now I love the person that I am. Does that make me arrogant? No. Why? Because there’s a difference between arrogance and self-love.
A lot of us seem to have grown up with this built in humility that has turned into insecurity. Loving and appreciating who you are is now a rarity and that needs to change. Loving who you are as a person and the way that you look does not make you conceited, it just means you appreciate your own self-worth! You’re allowed to be proud of your accomplishments and your appearance and everything else about yourself without having to feel bad about it! I’m not saying you have to brag about it (Although, you should be able to share things you’re proud of with your close friends and family), but there’s nothing wrong with owning who you are!
Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to believe that you’re perfect and nothing needs changing; that’s not what self love is. We always have room to grow and change, but that doesn’t mean we can’t like who we are. I recognise that I have flaws, and I know that I make a lot of mistakes in life, but I also don’t let those be reasons for hating myself. I have my redeeming qualities and I do try hard to be a good person and that’s enough for me to like who I am. We need to stop focusing on the bad and remember the good things that we do. Love yourself! I’m sure you’re pretty great!
Hope you’re all doing great and remember that you’re awesome!
Lots of love,
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Hey, I'm Jasmine Burke. A girl in her twenties fresh out of Uni that's trying to write in any way that she can. I go under the branch of "lifestyle" but honestly, you can find pretty much anything on here.
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