"You've Got Your Life Together"

"You've Got Your Life Together"

Every so often, when talking to people, I’ll receive some iteration of the statement

“Wow, you’ve really got your life together!”

And yes, I suppose I see how it may look like that; I maintain a blog, a YouTube channel, often travel between London and Bristol for events, keep up my grades and deputy editorial roles for a section of my Uni’s newspaper.  To an outsider, it may seem like I magically balance everything and am just one of those people that “has it all”, but honestly it is the complete opposite, and every time I hear that I feel like a fraud.
In all honesty, most of the time I’m running around like a headless chicken.  Yes, I’m doing a lot of things, but I also tend to spread myself too thin.  I want to do and have everything but, more often than not, that leads to poor prioritisation and a frequent and unhealthy level of exhaustion.  I in no way “have my life together yet”, in fact, it is quite the contrary.  I spend every single day stumbling through this stage of my life, making mistake after mistake and learning how to manage my life a little bit more everyday. 
Whenever I hear someone describe me as any word related to “organised” or “together” it baffles me; I suppose knowing myself and what I get up to and how my mind works, it just doesn’t make sense to me.  However, then I look to what I’m outwardly projecting online, and I suppose that the internet version of me (Social Jas, if you will) does seem relatively put together.  Social media allows us to present this idealised image of ourselves online…  We’re allowed to create this gallery of the happy moments, with fabricated poses and smiles in front of bright backgrounds with smiley faces.  We communicate our joy with the rest of the world, and, whilst I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with this, you can’t deny that with social media comes this altered perception of you…
For me that’s a girl that seems calm, happy and smiley.  She goes to events, she balances uni work and she seems super happy all the time.  This isn’t my reality: most of the time I’m messy and confused and honestly quite lazy.  There will be days where I lock myself away from everything and everyone and shut down, and there will be days where I’m bubbly and smiley and social…  The only difference is that one of these versions of me never makes it online.  Am I lying to the world by only portraying this one version?  Maybe, but definitely not on purpose.  Ultimately, it doesn’t come down to me trying to portray this “perfect” image of myself, it’s a lot simpler than that.  I take pictures when I’m happy, have energy, and want to capture the moment, and I don’t take them when I don’t feel like that.  I don’t try to create a certain version of myself online, I simply share when I feel like sharing, and that creates this false ideal.
I guess none of us really see the version of ourselves that we outwardly project, and so sometimes people’s perceptions can seem surprising.  I’d love to be the version of myself that people see, and hopefully one day I will be.  Everyday, I try and become a better version of myself, and though it may be a slow process, it’s one that I intend to persist with.
What are your thoughts on your outward perception? Let me know in the comments!
Lots of love,
Jas xx
 
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22 Comments

  1. March 12, 2018 / 12:41 pm

    People’s perception of me from online has definitely surprised me. Blogging has in some ways shown me the type of image I portray to the world. In the past few months I think I started to get overwhelmed and bottled up with everyone telling me how great I’m doing and how I’m so great at handling negativity. It’s a hard balance for me! I love how honest you seem! I’ve always thought you were ambitious but I always used to have a lot going on and people thought I had it together and I felt like a never ending spinning wheel! So I can definitely relate!

    • March 12, 2018 / 2:33 pm

      I agree – blogging has definitely shown me the image I portray, and it can be overwhelming at times! I’m glad you could relate, and thank you for the lovely comment!
      Jas xx

  2. March 12, 2018 / 8:49 pm

    It’s actually so weird how both in real life at school and also online in the blogging world, people can be so easily fooled my bubbly personality. The more upset I am, the more happy and put together I’ll seem. Really, I have no idea what I’m doing and I definitely don’t feel like I am keeping on top of my work.
    Aleeha xXx
    http://www.halesaaw.co.uk/

    • March 12, 2018 / 8:56 pm

      I’m exactly the same – I have people I hang around with in person who also seem to think that I have my life together! It’s hard because once you’re perceived as that I find it becomes harder to reveal your real truth and emotions. However, I hope you’re okay and I’m here to talk if you ever need to!
      Jas xx

  3. March 13, 2018 / 9:55 pm

    I loved reading this article. I felt like I could relate to you so fully. People tell me the same exact thing, and I totally don’t see myself that way. Like you said, it definitely has to do with the fact that I present myself on social media a certain way. I have to say though, I know how much time I put into my blog, that I seriously struggle with my Youtube channel. So go head girl. Great post xxx
    Melina | http://www.ivefoundwaldo.com

    • March 14, 2018 / 9:18 am

      Thank you! I’m glad that you enjoyed this and could relate as I wasn’t sure whether others would have to be able to.
      Jas xx

      • March 14, 2018 / 2:31 pm

        Maybe not every person, but I find this article is actually super useful, even people who are not bloggers. It makes people feel less alone and affirms the idea that social media is not the reality

  4. March 14, 2018 / 1:49 am

    This is one of the many reasons I adore your blog Jasmine because you’re broaching these kinds of subjects and it’s so refreshing and uplifting. I think for a lot of people social media shows us the highlight of our everyday lives and often glosses over the messy bits, but in reality, we’re all complex humans with lots of things going on in our lives and while some of us might share those messy moments, a lot of us won’t, so like you said it can come across that we’re doing brilliantly all the time, when even if it looks like we’ve had a great, productive day via what we post, we may also be struggling with things like mental health, family worries, work pressures, illness or general stresses of life so thank you for writing about this! <3 – Tasha

    • March 14, 2018 / 9:20 am

      Awwww I’m so glad you enjoyed this. It’s so true, you never really know how hard it easy someone’s day is!
      Jas xx

      • March 24, 2018 / 2:03 pm

        So true, thank you for writing this one Jasmine! <3

  5. March 17, 2018 / 10:50 am

    It’s hard at times to reconcile the person we seem to be and who we really are. But we’re the same person at heart. You’ve summed it up well!

  6. March 17, 2018 / 10:54 am

    I think that’s something you learn as you get older- NO ONE has it “together” every moment of every day, and for every moment of calm they project, they have 4 moments of chaos themselves. If someone was absolutely calm all the time, I might wonder if they can handle more- that chaos and rush (in small quantities) is good for growth!

    • March 18, 2018 / 12:00 am

      I like that – you’re right, no one does have it together every moment! Thank you!
      Jas xx

  7. March 17, 2018 / 11:05 am

    I am also a repeat offender when it comes to spreading myself too thin, although I’m getting better at reminding myself that it’s okay to step back and breathe. And I don’t see it as dishonest when bloggers I follow and like portray a put-together, on top of things all the time sort of vibe, because it’s hard work to make things look “easy!”

    • March 18, 2018 / 12:01 am

      Yeah, I’m starting to get to the stage where I’m getting better at stepping back, but it’s still a process. Glad it’s working for you though!
      Jas xx

  8. March 17, 2018 / 11:25 am

    Oh Jas I can only say, ” I hear you loud and clear” on this one! Other people’s perceptions of us can be so different to the reality!!!

    • March 18, 2018 / 12:02 am

      Exactly! And the more time you spend online, the harder it is to figure out which you is the real you!
      Jas xx

      • March 18, 2018 / 9:09 am

        When Some people I know online say things about me, I do wonder if I am being a total fraud, as I don;t see myself as that person, but then maybe there is a truth there too…

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