How's Life? | The Current State of my Mind

How's Life? | The Current State of my Mind

Is this oversharing?  Is this the kind of blog content that you’ve come to expect?  Who knows, but writing is really cathartic for me and I’m trying to stop straying away from content that isn’t “perfect”.  I feel like the further you get sucked into the internet world, the harder it is to stop yourself focusing on that perfect aesthetic and ground yourself in your imperfect reality.
My mind right now is not in the best state, but the good thing is that I’m aware of it.  My mind is filled with these self-deprecating thoughts, but I can recognise them as bad and temporary, and ground myself in the knowledge that they need to be taken with a pinch of salt.  Nothing I do feels good enough at the moment (Whole post on that hereand it’s made me feel really worthless… It’s like I have the capacity to do more than I’m doing and yet I’m stopping myself from achieving it.
I don’t quite know what the problem is.  Do I need recognition?  Do I need a pat on the back?  I started all of this for myself, none of that should matter, and I’m not even sure that it does… I’m honestly not really sure what matters to me at the moment, I just know that I need to do morethan I’m doing.  I’m currently stuck in this weird limbo where I want to improve everything, but have no time to do it (Exams are right around the corner and that is… great).  I have this constant need for improvement and, whilst it motivates me to do better, I worry that it will leave me with a constant feeling of inadequacy.  
It hasn’t helped that, with exams, I haven’t had as much time to work on my blog as I would have liked to, and so I’m not seeing the progress that I want.  I know that the second the summer starts I can put my heart and soul into it, but for now it’s really discouraging.
I don’t even know if this post makes sense at this point; my stress is making it harder to articulate words.  But I’m going to get through this.  I will get through this.  This is only a little bump in the road.
How are you doing at the moment?  Let me know in the comments!
Lots of love,
Jas xx
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10 Comments

  1. April 25, 2018 / 10:54 am

    I can relate to your post as I am not feeling my best either atm and I am also trying to remind myself that it is just temporary and we feel better soon. It will get better again!

    • April 25, 2018 / 11:35 am

      I hope you make it through. We can both get through this, it’s just a temporary stage!
      Jas xx

  2. April 25, 2018 / 1:46 pm

    Aww, don’t beat up yourself too much about it. Take some time to regroup, focus on your exams and then proceed. You’ll get through this and things happen when you least expect them too. Stay strong! xoxo

  3. April 25, 2018 / 3:44 pm

    Have you ever watched the movie Girl’s Trip? One of the girls in the movie does positive affirmations. It seemed to help her, so I started doing them. Whenever I go into that destructive self-depreciating mode I start chanting to myself (out loud, in whispers, in my head) “I am strong, I am beautiful, I am smart…whatever I need to say to myself”. After a while those terrible voices in my head go away. It’s actually helped me a lot. I would suggest trying them? Let me know how it works for you. It sounds silly, but it worked for me! Good luck love xx
    Melina | http://www.melinaelisa.com

    • April 25, 2018 / 5:15 pm

      I love the movie Girls Trip! I might give those a try actually
      Jas xx

  4. April 25, 2018 / 10:53 pm

    It sounds like, like me, you put a hella lot of pressure on yourself, girl! Might need to take a step back and be kind to yourself. Celebrate the small wins and even the tiniest steps in the right direction – i.e. forwards. x

  5. April 29, 2018 / 11:32 am

    I know exactly how you feel. Currently trying to get myself out of a state of self sabotage.Love yiur content!

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