Recently, I’ve done a lot of looking back on the person I am now compared to the person I was a year ago. I’ve grown in confidence, ambition, workload, and the way that I see myself… I’m braver than I once was. However, at the root of it all, I’m still a little coward at heart.
Going to Morocco and doing all these activities that were planned by my friend was fun. However, it was also quite hard for me because at the end of the day I’m such an introvert. That doesn’t mean I’m terrible at being around people – I actually really like being around people. However, I also really like my alone time, and recharging inside, and staying well within my comfort zone. Morocco allowed no time for this.
There are a bunch of things that I never imagined myself doing and in Morocco. In fact, I was forced to do a lot of them without really being able to back out. Some of them I was really dreading, and some I genuinely thought would ruin my day… Then next thing I know, they were happening, I was loving them, and they ended up being my favourite things.
I feel like a lot of us have a boundary that when we get to the edge of, we completely shut down. We see ourselves as someone who’s less amazing as we are and has less capabilities. We we convince ourselves that we can’t do things before they’ve even happened.
Over the last year or so, I’ve been so much more of a “yes” person. However, that has tended to involved emailing people, or going to events that are out of my comfort zone. When those events end, I’m cuddled up in bed by midnight, barely having left my comfort zone at all. I haven’t really had anything that’s brought me genuine doubt until now. And as a result, I now know that I am braver and capable of more than I know.
I got really anxious before I went paddle boarding… I have a massive fear/hatred of the ocean and I’ve convinced myself that I’m terrible at physical sports. I’d decided it wasn’t happening, and I was going to sit on the beach and watch as my friends did it. Staying in my zone was the easy option, and I like easy. However, there never came a real time to back out, and so I ended up on that board regardless.
Getting on that board and into the ocean was one of the most terrifying things for me. I wanted nothing less than to lose my balance and fall in (Which I was told would most definitely happen as a newbie). However, next thing I knew, I was standing on a board paddling away, really enjoying myself and embracing the ocean. That ended up being one of my absolute favourite days while I was out there, and looking back on how close I was to not doing it seems absolutely crazy now.
As I was quad biking through the dessert – another thing I was absolutely dreading – I realised that I stop myself from doing so many things for no real reason. Thrill is a terrifying thing, but honestly, most of it is worth the rush.
From now on I’m going to work more on pushing myself past my limits. I don’t know what will come of it, but I’m excited to see how I grow from it.
Let me know something brave you’ve done/wish to do in the comments!
Lots of love,