The Old Jas
Growing up, I was the “skinny jeans and T-Shirt” girl 24/7. Fashion wasn’t really something that interested me. I wanted my clothes to look nice, but I wasn’t really that into having my own “style” or being “fashionable”. I loved bright colour and insanely cute outfits on other people, but I felt that I could never pull it off.
Going through secondary school, clothes weren’t all that important to me. I was wearing a uniform 5 days a week and on those other 2 days I wasn’t really going out as much as I do now. However, once I got to sixth form, I was wearing my own clothes every single day of the week, (amongst a bunch of girls who did, in fact, know their style and look amazing). Therefore, I started to figure out what I liked wearing.
Blend In, No Colour
I went through a variety of mental problems during sixth form. I felt pretty worthless and tried as hard as I could to blend into the background. Therefore, it’s unsurprising that my clothing reflected that too. Almost everything I wore was black: skirts, tops, trousers, big baggy black jumpers, heavy black eyeliner. If it wasn’t black, it was white or grey; there was no real colour, only monochrome. It soon became my identity and recurring jokes with my friends about my all black wardrobe became the norm. I took black clothing as my “style” as it meant that I had something that was mine. However, it was my attempt to stand out as little as possible.
Confidence Changed the Game
In the last few years I have learnt to be so much more comfortable with who I am as a person. It’s not like I live to be the centre of attention. In all honesty, I don’t think I’ll ever be that person. However, my goal is no longer to disappear.
I’m proud of myself and my body and I want to look nice for me, so developing a personal style has been a goal of mine for the past few years. My wardrobe is brighter and there’s definitely way more colour. I have more pride in what I wear, and I genuinely feel like I look happier. Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with dressing in black all the time, and it’s not like I actively avoid it. However, for me, it wasn’t just an outfit choice, it was my way of making myself nothing. It’s safe to say that I’m done with that now.
It’s weird how little changes that seem shallow and artificial can have much deeper meanings. Obviously, not everything in life does, but for me, this was one of those things that meant more than it seemed. I’m excited to see where my style journey goes from here.
How would you describe your personal style? Let me know in the comments
Lots of love,