If you’re reading this on the day I published it, I am officially 21! Though I’m sure that my day of friends, family, drinking and fun will be all over my Instagram, it got me thinking a lot about who I’ve become. My 10-year-old self had a very clear-cut idea of how she wanted to be at 21. As a born organisation freak, I had mood boards, diary entries and sketched pictures depicting her. She was confident, cool, and a sum of all my young aspirations. So, I have to question, have I become her? Would 10-year-old Jas like this current version of me?
So what did young Jas want?
Like the current version of me, she sure liked to write. Subsequently, the list goes on forever. However, there definitely is a few things she was sure about. 21-year-old me was supposed to have…
Straight, dyed hair with a fringe
The straight hair was the result of western beauty standards,and also the desire to look like my mum. As I got older, I came to love my hair texture, but it has massively changed over time. At the moment, it exhibits around 4 different textures when dried naturally, and one of those is straight. Plus, I straighten it a lot of the time. So, I’m going to count that as a win. When it comes to the dyed part, I also delivered! Granted, she wanted red streaks in her hair, and I chose to opt for a subtle dark-brown to chocolate-brown gradient. However, I’ve decided it still counts. Let’s be real, red streaks were not exactly a choice that was going to follow me to adulthood.
As for the fringe… Honey, you tried that in sixth form. It was not a good choice. Trust me, I’m better off without it.
A published book
Okay, this is still a pipe dream for me. I have fully written novels, but haven’t done much with them because, well, life took over. However, young me has no need to fear, I’m still working on it! One day, young one. One day. (Also, if it helps, you get paid to write on the internet sometime, so that’s pretty cool too!)
10-year-old me was convinced she’d be an adult with a boyfriend by the time she was 21. Although I don’t place as much importance on relationships anymore, I do have one. So, I guess 10-year-old Jas can be happy with that.
A cool best friend
I went through primary school never really having a best friend. I wasn’t a loner, and people did like me, but I didn’t really have anyone I could go to with my problems. I like to think that the Universe saw this and decided to overcompensate in adulthood. I have such a large number of people I could go to with absolutely anything now! I have quite a few friends that will check up on me randomly like a best friend would. I am so amazingly lucky with the friends I have, and I do not know how I became so lucky. Congrats young Jas, you overdid this one.
A perfect body
Oh honey. Those don’t exist. Your body could definitely be better, but you’re a lot better at realising that you can’t be so hard on yourself anymore. (Also, isn’t it sad that was already on my mind at 10 years old? Ugh, I hate the emphasis we put on attractiveness).
So, would she like me now?
I like to think that 10-year-old Jas would be pretty proud of me. Honestly, I’m proud of myself now. I’ve done a lot of growing in the past couple of years, and I’m starting to really like the person I’ve become. For someone who’s pretty lacking in self-confidence, that really means a lot. It’s interesting to see where my priorities were as a 10-year-old. A lot of my goals (Boyfriend, hair, body) were to do with what I was seeing on TV, and where the media placed value and worth. I like to think that, at this age, I have a sturdier head on my shoulders and am aware that these aren’t the most important things in the world. I definitely prioritise different things now, but I think young me would be okay with that.
Young Jas actually had quite a few of her dreams achieved, and to think that I made those happen is great. They may have been small, and they may have been superficial, but I’ve become a person that my young self would be proud of. And that’s all I can ask for.
Apologies for the sappiness, but what else could you expect from me on my birthday? would your young self like current you? Let me know in the comments!
Lots of love,