Addicted to that Busy Feeling

Addicted to that Busy Feeling

It has occured to me lately that I may be addicted to being busy.

I know that I always complain about being busy and I find myself in constant states of stress… But the other day I thought about the fact that part of me may enjoy it?  it fuels something inside of me and pushes me to work harder… Is that addiction or ambition?

The thought process

In my 4 month summer, I had a total of about 8 days where I wasn’t doing anything.  So, what did I do? I turned my blog into a full time job, getting up at 8am and working 9-5.  I gained sponsorships, took phone meetings and pushed everything I had into it.  What were supposed to be my 8 days of “rest” turned into more work.  I was busy once again, and free time was non-existent.

Since getting back to Bristol, I have not had a day where I’ve stayed inside all day and vegged out in bed.  I’ve taken meetings, more sponsorships, met up with people, worked on the Uni paper…  The list goes on.  Two days ago my friend texted me to ask me how I was doing and when I replied saying busy she responded “Already?!  You haven’t even started lessons yet!”  And that’s when it occured to me that I probably shouldn’t already be this exhausted.  I probably need a rest, but I just can’t stop.

I’m not doing enough

Part of this reason I keep making myself busy, is that when I’m idle, my brain tells me I’m not doing enough.  Case in point: On Saturday morning I left the house at 10 for a haircut, went grocery shopping and got home at 1pm.  When asked about my day, I began my sentence with “All I’ve done is…”

Yeah, I didn’t exactly do anything remarkable.  But, I did have a busy morning, and yet my brain was not impressed because I was already home with nothing but extra reading to do for the day.  It’s like, if I’m not having an internal crisis because I’m spread too thin, then I’m clearly not working hard enough.  I set myself further challenges, I sign up to more things, and I push myself far harder than I need to.  

I’m addicted.

I once read an article exploring the idea of addiction.  It noted that you can be addicted to many different things, but we only seem to pay attention to the “bad” ones like alcohol, smoking or drugs.  I already know that I have an addictive personality.  I know that I get attached to TV shows and games and drinks (Lol I don’t think I’ve ever discussed my past Diet Coke addiction on here before) easier than I should do.  My adictive personality is the main reason I stay away from serious things like drugs etc.  So, is it possible that I’ve become addicted to a busy lifestyle?  Honestly, it’s more than likely.

What do I do about it?

I’d love to be able to grab my head and scream “SLOW DOWN JASMINE” in my own face, but unfortunately that isn’t really an option.  The truth is, with Uni starting today there isn’t really a chance to just stop.  I have required reading, essays, Newspaper commitments, blog upkeep, a long distance boyfriend to visit, parents to miss… The list goes on.  The time that I should have been doing nothing has been and gone.  I’m committed until at least Christmas now.

I guess, I’m just going to try and be nicer to myself.  I need to accept that I won’t always be able to do everything.  I also need to set aside some time completely to self-care and relaxation.  Perhaps if I book it into my schedule I’ll actually let myself relax (Which may just be the saddest thing I’ve ever written, I know).

 

Hope you liked this, it’s been on my mind for a while now.  How busy are you at the moment?  Let me know in the comments!

Lots of love,

Jas xx

 

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20 Comments

  1. October 1, 2018 / 9:28 am

    I’m EXACTLY the same! I recently took a few weeks off from work before I started uni again, and to start with I found it so hard having nothing to do all the time. So naturally I started blogging, exercising and cooking constantly to make myself busy. I couldn’t do it any other way though

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      October 3, 2018 / 7:35 pm

      I don’t think I could do it any other way either 😉

      Jas xx

  2. CherishingFlo
    October 1, 2018 / 2:10 pm

    I completely understand! Girl I’m addicted to being busy too! I always have had that problem!

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      October 3, 2018 / 7:35 pm

      It’s such a weird problem to have, isn’t it?

      Jas xx

  3. October 1, 2018 / 4:11 pm

    I can relate so much. I guess it’s just being a driven person, and instead of feeling bad about it, you should feel proud of yourself for accomplishing so much. It only raises concerns when it gets to the point that you’re not taking care of yourself or practicing any self care, which is what I was doing for the past month. Great post!

    Caroline | http://caroomakeupblog.com

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      October 3, 2018 / 7:35 pm

      Thanks so much Caroline!

      Jas xx

  4. October 2, 2018 / 8:13 am

    I think you can totally be addicted to work and that feelings of being accomplished after checking things to do from your list.
    I think it’s a good thing, I don’t see anything bad about it. In the end, your body will tell you if it will need a day off to rest.

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      October 3, 2018 / 7:36 pm

      Very true! Just need to start listening to my body more!

      Jas xx

  5. October 2, 2018 / 9:00 pm

    This is such a relatable post Jas! I’ve just started an Open Uni course this week and also trying to balance blogging and everything else. It feels like I’m always busy so I’m trying to fit in more self-care time and I went to a lunchtime yoga class today. Good luck with everything! <3 xx

    Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      October 2, 2018 / 9:06 pm

      Awwww a Yoga class sounds so good! I need to prioritise self care too, we can both do this <3

      Jas xx | https://thoughtsfromjasmine.co.uk

  6. October 2, 2018 / 9:40 pm

    I can relate to this in so many ways! Only difference is that I do find it quite easy to switch off and have some “me” time… but then afterwards I feel guilty and as if I’ve “wasted” a day. And really, I haven’t. As any time invested in self-care is most definitely not a waste. But yet I still have the pangs of guilt… ah, so annoying!
    I do hope that you manage to find some time to chill out though, you don’t want to burn out 😊

    http://www.missblogsabit.com

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      October 3, 2018 / 7:36 pm

      I’ve definitely had that “wasted day” guilt before! And yeah, I’m trying to avoid burning out at the moment

      Jas xx

  7. October 2, 2018 / 10:26 pm

    I have definitely been this person! I hate not having something to do all the time. Which is a really annoying thing about living in a small town in the middle of nowhere. A lot of the time the stuff that could take 10 minutes, takes forever. Much like the haircut, you know you’ve been busy, but feel like you’ve done nothing. But at the same time I also get annoyed with myself if I haven’t set out time to binge whatever TV show I’m currently obsessed with. You really can’t win… I know it sounds daft, but I think actually scheduling ‘nothing’ time really helps x

    Sophie
    http://www.glowsteady.co.uk

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      October 3, 2018 / 7:37 pm

      Yeah, I really need to start scheduling nothing time to be honest!

      Jas xx

  8. October 3, 2018 / 5:32 pm

    It is so difficult to find the right balance of everything! I can definitely relate but I always end up burned out and anxious so I have learned to take it slower. Even if it means just giving yourself a slow morning once a week, find time for yourself!

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      October 3, 2018 / 7:42 pm

      Yeah, I think I’m going to try and find more time for myself. Thank you for commenting!

      Jas xx

  9. eviebraithwaite
    October 4, 2018 / 8:31 pm

    OI relate to this so much! I feel as if I’m wasting time if I’m just sat around doing nothing, hence why I blogged more during summer. Even now that I have a job, I still don’t set time aside to properly relax, I just have so many things I feel like I should be doing! I just sometimes wish I could sit and binge watch a TV show for a day without feeling guilty 🤷🏼‍♀️

    Evie x | https://eviejayne.co.uk

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      October 13, 2018 / 5:43 pm

      I feel exactly the same!

      Jas xx

  10. October 8, 2018 / 9:37 pm

    Jas I’m the same way, if I’m not constantly busy, I feel like I’m not doing enough, I’m not being productive. After a long talk with my mom, she put emphasis on being in tune with my mind and body, if my body says stop, I should stop. Nice post!

    Natonya | http://www.justnatonya.wordpress.com

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      October 13, 2018 / 5:16 pm

      Glad you can relate, and thank you for commenting!

      Jas xx

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