I was supposed to have an entirely different post out today, but I felt like I needed to get this out of my head, once and for all. If you follow me on any social media you may already know this, but I have had a pretty terrible week.
I’m not going to go into major details, because it’s something I don’t really talk about on here, but I took a major hit. I lost a friend (They’re not dead, they’re just not in my life anymore) that I thought that I would have forever, and that was hard to transition from. However, as other people who have been there for me have noted, I dealt with this better than I usually do, and I could not be prouder of myself.
For the first couple of days I was an absolute mess. I did not leave my bed, I cried a lot, and I tried to spend as much time sleeping as possible. I was in the kind of state of mind where I believed I would never feel better again, and no matter how many times I told myself that all it would take would be time, I didn’t believe it.
I had no motivation. I’m behind with blog posts, I haven’t been creating new content, and I only went anywhere that I had an obligation to be at (e.g. Uni and Newspaper obligations). I was in this little hole, and I was content staying there. I was losing a lot of weight, I felt weak all the time, and it really felt like there was no way out. I woke up every morning feeling like I was living some sort of numb nightmare. However, 2 days ago, I woke up and I felt like the old me. I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t longing for the past, I was genuinely okay. It was official: I’d been through the motions.
I feel like the reason I got over it so quickly is because, for once in my life, I tackled it all logically. The process was hard, but I constantly had to remember the following:
Obviously, it’s only been a week and a bit, I’m not 100% back to myself. However, I’m doing so much better. I no longer have the desire to spend whole days in bed and my appetite is slowly coming back. I’m going out and interacting with people again and I’m back to basic self-care.
Of course there will be moments of sadness from time to time. I lost one of the longest and strongest friendships I had in my life. However, I have no hate in my heart right now, and I don’t have the capacity or need to hold a grudge about it all. I am happy with how I’ve handled it all and honestly, it’s only onwards and upwards from here.
So yeah, that’s where my mind’s at at the moment. How are you doing? Let me know in the comments!
Lots of love,
Hey, I'm Jasmine Burke. A girl in her twenties fresh out of Uni that's trying to write in any way that she can. I go under the branch of "lifestyle" but honestly, you can find pretty much anything on here.
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