As you may know if you follow me on social media, have noticed my inconsistent uploading schedule or read this word vomit, I have not had a great time recently. Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely doing so much better. However, feelings, like everything, come in waves.
Monday morning I woke up numb. I spoke through things on the phone with my mum and she was just as confused as I was. For the first time in years I had no passion, no drive and while I was still going out and doing things. I was clearly just doing through the motions. I had kind of accepted that life was just going to be like that for a while. Things happen, life moves on and you have to keep going no matter how you’re feeling… I wasn’t really living, but I was definitely surviving.
I understand that it’s Wednesday, and Monday was only 2 days ago. I’m not saying that I’ve done a massive 180 so quickly. However, speaking to my mum on the phone yesterday I was telling her about my plans and my weekend and some cool projects that I have coming up (Stay tuned) and she was delighted.
“You sound excited! You sound like yourself again!”
And I realised that I did. For the last 2/3 weeks I’ve had moments of happiness, but I’ve been baseline miserable. However, yesterday, I was at peace and I genuinely felt like me for the first time in ages.
I don’t know if this is going to be some triumphant return to my blog, and I don’t know if things are going to be all sunshine and rainbows from here on out. However, I am actually okay and excited and amazed by how much I have going on in my life. It sounds incredibly cheesey but I feel like I’m living again. So, I wanted to put that feeling into writing so I can look back on this and appreciate the little journey I’ve been on.
Basically, there might be regular posts again? I have a lot of events planned and cool food and theatre content and generally just some cool ideas in the works. I’m in love with my blog and my life again… So get ready for some stuff!
Hope you’re doing well and haven’t missed me too much… Even though you probably haven’t even noticed that I’m gone because honestly this has been a mental journey more than an outward one for the world…
Lots of love,