I’ve Lost It

I’ve Lost It In the summer, after going self-hosted, my blog took on a new lease of life.  I was excited about everything I put out there, it all had my voice really well and I was overflowing with ideas and content.  However for the last month or so my uploads have declined, my ideas have dried up and publishing posts is far more draining.  I feel lost.  And I don’t really know what to do.  So, in true Jas fashion I’m writing about it.

I’m burnt out.

I knew that University was going to be hard this year.  It’s my final year, the grades really matter and the work load is beyond intense.  I’m really invested in extra-curricular activities and I seem to have a social life, plus all my deadlines are coming up and I am drowning.  I have not had a free day in over a month and honestly, if I did have a free day I would probably use it to catch up on blog posts, or Instagram photos… Days of “relaxing” just don’t exist. Now I’m starting to get into essay writing and deadlines, I’ve realised that I’m burnt out.  It’s like all of my words and creativity are on strike and they won’t surrender until I give myself a break.  However, in my mind, this has been my break.  I didn’t upload as much as I would like to in October and I’ve barely touched my blog this October… To me, I’ve taken as much time off as I can.  I need to jump back into it.  But I haven’t really… It’s not like I just gave up and neglected my blog, I just haven’t had the time.

The dilemma

My last post was particularly hopeful, and I still am hopeful.  I’m the happiest I’ve been in over 6 months and I’m ready to throw my all into everything.  The problem is that there’s too many things for me to throw my all into.  I’m spreading myself far too thinly and I’m aware of it, but I don’t know what to stop.  If I were to list every one of my activities in order of enjoyment and what they bring to my life and cut out the bottom one, I’d end up cutting out my degree… And that’s the one that I definitely have to keep hold of.  So I’m left in this weird loop of feeling like I can’t give anything my all, but also like I can’t give anything up. I took October to focus on me and that was honestly the best thing that I could have done.  I’ve realigned, I’m really content with everything I have going on, and I’ve made a whole tonne of healthy life choices which are already making a huge difference to my wellbeing.  But November was supposed to allow me a chance to get back into my blog, and… I’m struggling.

I’m not giving up.

I can’t give it up.  I love it too much.  I’m so proud of this little thing I built all by myself because of a spur of the moment decision.  I just feel a little… disconnected at the moment.  I don’t have the time that I had in the summer to reply to comments or read other people’s blogs or regularly engage with the people that I absolutely adore.  It makes me feel really weird sometimes because I feel like such a fake, flakey person and I know that that’s not me.  I just think I need to get that spark back, or at least find a way to push past it. I have some plans of posts that I want to get up.  I kind of know where I’m going from here.  However, I refuse to write things that don’t carry my voice, and lately I’ve started posts that just don’t sound like me.  I want everything to appear genuine, and I never publish anything that doesn’t.  However, this November, it’s means that I haven’t really published that much at all… I can’t tell you how often posts are gonna come (Except for Wednesday’s post… I’ve already written Wednesday’s post), but writing this has already helped me feel more in tune with my blog.  I’m getting right back on that horse and I hope you’re still around for the journey. One of these days I will post something that isn’t just incessant rambling, I promise. Lots of love, Jas xx

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36 Comments

  1. November 12, 2018 / 12:29 pm

    Gosh, don’t feel bad! I only publish once a week, very deliberately because I also have a lot on my plate and I want it to be my best work. Just do what makes you happy—balance is so important 😊

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 12, 2018 / 5:28 pm

      Thank you! I’m really working on finding the balance!

      Jas xx

  2. November 12, 2018 / 5:06 pm

    I can totally relate to spreading yourself too thinly! It’s something that’s so tricky to contend with but I really hope you manage to find a good balance soon! xx
    http://www.imjustagirl16.co.uk

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 12, 2018 / 5:28 pm

      Thank you! I’m hoping that after this week my life should calm down a liiiiiittle bit

      Jas xx

  3. November 12, 2018 / 5:07 pm

    I know the feeling. When you have so much going on at the same time, and want to do it all but it is exhausting. It is great that you manage to focus on yourself. I’ll be there when you’re fully back into blogging! =)

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 12, 2018 / 5:33 pm

      Thanks so much Corinne 🙂

      Jas xx

  4. November 12, 2018 / 5:24 pm

    I’ve definitely been there and let me just say, you’ll get through it. Blog when you can and try to use it as a bit of an escape. Much love x

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 12, 2018 / 5:38 pm

      Thank you! Yeah, I need to remember that this is just a hobby.

      Jas xx

  5. November 12, 2018 / 5:49 pm

    It can be so hard when you go through a period of feeling disenchanted with blogging but life has always got to come first! No one will judge you for taking a break, we’ve all been there. Your education is important, and also university doesn’t last forever. Try not to miss out on enjoying it because you are worried about other things. Blogging will always be here for you, regardless of how frequently that is!
    Beth x Adventure & Anxiety

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 12, 2018 / 5:58 pm

      Amazing advice, thank you!

      Jas xx

  6. November 12, 2018 / 6:11 pm

    1) I bloody love a good ramble 2) there’s no point in forcing content you’re not happy with 3) you need a break. It’s amazing that you’re able to see when you’re spreading yourself thin but maybe you need a different system. If you take a step back, loving so many things that you don’t know what to give up is such an amazing position. Maybe you don’t need to give up anything, but rotate them? A week where blogging is #1, then a week where a certain extra curricular is? I hope you figure something out soon! x

    Sophie
    http://www.glowsteady.co.uk

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 12, 2018 / 6:21 pm

      Sophie I love you <3 Also yeah, I definitely need some sort of actual break but unfortunately that may have to wait until Christmas haha, I like the idea of rotating things though! I may give that a try, thank you!

      Jas xx | https://thoughtsfromjasmine.co.uk

  7. E
    November 12, 2018 / 6:13 pm

    Always take care of yourself first!!!

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 12, 2018 / 6:32 pm

      Thank you!

      Jas xx

  8. insidemegansmind
    November 12, 2018 / 7:47 pm

    I’ve been there before and the most important thing for me is that I’m posting content that I am proud of and that I love. If I can’t do that, then it’s time for a break. Don’t worry, take a break and come back stronger than ever!

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 15, 2018 / 12:22 am

      Yeah, I think that’s where I’ve come to now – I just won’t write if I’m not loving it, thank you so much!

      Jas xx

  9. November 13, 2018 / 2:15 am

    I also have been trying to find my groove in posting. I believe in you!

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 15, 2018 / 12:22 am

      Thank you so much!

      Jas xx

  10. November 13, 2018 / 8:12 pm

    I totally relate! At the moment I have two jobs and I’m finding it hard to actually find the time to sit down and focus on my blog but I love doing it so I make the time somehow! You’ll do that too x

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 15, 2018 / 12:23 am

      Thank you so much! I’m slowly getting back into the groove!

      Jas xx

  11. November 13, 2018 / 8:41 pm

    I can relate to this post so much Jas! It is so hard to balance blogging with studying and everything else. There is never enough hours in the day! It’s great that you have been focusing on your well-being and making healthier life choices. We just got to take care of ourselves first, our blogs will always be waiting for us when we are ready. All the best with your studies lovely and I hope that things settle down for you soon. I always love reading your posts, they are so refreshingly open and honest <3 xx

    Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 15, 2018 / 12:35 am

      Thank you so much Bexa! <3

      Jas xx

  12. November 13, 2018 / 8:41 pm

    I think it’s so brave of you to write a whole post about how this, but you certainly should not feel bad at all. you have to remember to take time for yourself, you deserve time to relax. your true followers and readers will stick around during whatever it is you are going through. they will understand that life happens and sometimes you need to step away from the blog for a little while. im sending you all my positivity and love jas xx

    mich / simplymich.com

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 15, 2018 / 12:37 am

      Thank you so much for the love <3

      Jas xx

  13. November 13, 2018 / 9:03 pm

    The fact that you’ve noticed this is a great start and taking some time out to reevaluate definitely doesn’t mean giving up. We all need a break every now and again! xx

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 15, 2018 / 12:40 am

      Thank you Jenny! Yes, breaks are so important <3

      Jas xx

  14. November 14, 2018 / 1:43 pm

    Do you know that you’re one of my faves? Do you know that I care about you? <3 Darling, take care of yourself! I wish you BEST of luck <3 Trust me, you're a hero! <3

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 15, 2018 / 12:41 am

      This is actually so sweet, thank you so much <3 Like that actually means the world to me <3

      Jas xx

  15. Ashley Firth
    November 14, 2018 / 9:26 pm

    I can remember studying and trying to blog at the same time – remember you’re only human and can’t do everything at once. A lovely honest post 🙂

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 15, 2018 / 12:41 am

      Thank you so much!

      Jas xx

  16. November 17, 2018 / 11:19 am

    I can really relate to this post and that feeling of spreading yourself too thinly! It’s hard to find that balance sometimes but hopefully you’ll find it too. Also, love how you took October to focus on yourself, so important and something I need to do more of! Loved reading as always xx

    Elin | https://myblurredworld.com

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 24, 2018 / 11:07 am

      Thank you so much Elin!

      Jas xx

  17. November 22, 2018 / 10:03 am

    Your consistency has never been a problem, the problem is not being too harsh on your self cause you’re doing the most

    • thoughtsfromjasmine
      Author
      November 24, 2018 / 11:04 am

      Thank you, I’m working on being less harsh.

      Jas xx

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