Oh hey, it’s my first mental health update of the year – how exciting! And what better way to kick off my mental health posts by talking about being sad? I’m a real ray of sunshine, aren’t I?
All jokes aside, this will be a fairly positive post. I’m a strong believer that life is never 100% sunshine and rainbows and I don’t want to come across like mine is. There are definitely moments of weakness, but I like being able to somewhat healthily explore tham on here, and treat them with a little bit of perspective. If writing’s my favourite creative outlet I may as well use it as a bit of free therapy as well, right? (But also… use real therapy kids, it’s a good idea).
So what’s this 8 days thing about then?
Well, it is no secret that before I left University in December I was going through a pretty terrible time. However, I came home, I threw myself into the holidays and family and friends, and I could not have felt better. I’ve been so into self-improvement and pushing this blog thing as much as I can, and I can genuinely say that I’m in the best position I’ve been mentally for like 4 years. But, unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. And, on the 8th January at 12:30am, I found my brain doing all sorts of sad things, for the first time in 3+ weeks. And then I laughed.
Yes, I laughed.
Well it’s quite simple actually. Yeah, I felt sad, and yeah I was massively overthinking. However, then I thought about the fact that it was already 8 days into the New Year. I had sadness in the back of my mind from like the second day of January the year before. In fact, throughout most of the last few years, there’s always been a tinge of sadness lingering around. But I hadn’t thought about or felt sadness in the distant past, and that was incredibly exciting.
The happier I am (In life in general, not in the current moment), the easier I find it to pay attention to the little things. And the fact that it had taken me so long (in my eyes) to feel sad, that the emotion felt foreign to me, actually made me really excited. Growing more emotionally stable is a whole long process, and it in no way happens instantly. However, this is the biggest step I’ve noticed since the whole body confidence thing. And my sadness was indicative of a more positive future.
So now you’re going to laugh everytime you’re sad?
Not at all, in fact this was probably a bit of a lucky/freak occurence. I’m 100% sure that I won’t laugh everytime I feel sad this year… However, I chose to look at this first bout of sadness as a reminder that when I look at things with some perspective, I am making progress. And progress and growth is really exciting to me.
I know I’ll be sad again. I know that I’ll probably still have days/weeks where I’m crying on coaches or feel like I can’t leave my bed. And I’m still working on my brain in general (I’ll probably get into the actual non-blog related help I’m getting at some point). However, it’s nice to see progress. And hopefully that progress progresses.
How are you doing at the moment? Let me know in the comments!
Lots of love,